Dubai Junior League Ice Hockey Championship Shirt – 2001

Now we have eternal $13 shirts.

This is a silk-screen printed, pre-shrunk, unisex, 100% cotton Raglan-style sports jersey commemorating  the Falcon Flyer’s win in the Dubai Junior League Ice Hockey Championship, 2001. UAE Exotic Falconry & Finance is proud to have sponsored this team.

This shirt is being made for the best reasons people make anything. It’s being created because it’s cool, and because Falcons are Fun. You all want a cool shirt, right? I wanna make that happen.

We’re still all in this to have fun, so everyone who wants a shirt should be able to get one. Thank you for supporting me and the horrible things I write.

Falcon Fidelis.
(Or the birds get jealous)

P.S.

Do not read the following if you are not an initiate in the mysteries of Falconmancy.

This is how the shirt works.

The shirt  is designed to exploit semiotic coding we’ve all been programmed with, as a bit, to hypnotize strangers. The shirt works on branding magic, like Nike. But instead of selling Nikes, it’s redirecting that programming and energy to make things weirder and cooler.

Wearing a falcon shirt is a provocative act.  It confuses people in a way that makes them want to find out more. Why is there Arabic on the front? The confusion and mystery will draw them in. Inevitably, they’ll comment. And any honest answer you give them can only be even more confusing.

Wearing a falcon shirt is a kindness to strangers who want to approach you, in that commenting on it, asking about it, invites comment. It is an elephant in the room, something so unusual that many people can’t help but ask about it.

Protip: Have a quick draw super cool reply on the ready. First impression made. (You’re now that falcon finance weirdo.)

This item is more than just a shirt, it’s more than just fabric and ink. It’s a billboard that suggests certain things about its wearer, their character, status, hobbies, disposition, but in a puzzling way that invites engagement. It’s an antenna that attracts the strange and unusual, it invites the curious, the novelty seeker, and the playful to engage. It attracts the correct kind of energy and interactions, and absolutely repels shit kickers… all while also functioning as sportsball camouflage. A falconer’s bargain.

Wear it when walking amongst the Earthlanders.